


Painfully Stubborn and Mediocre at best

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Betrayal, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Post-breakup
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-08 09:05:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lives of Frank Iero and Gerard Way changed a lot more than either could have possibly expected after the ending of My Chemical Romance. This is the story of their lives two years on, after the dust has gathered on the idea, hiding the events that both have tried to ignore since that fatal day. While the ending of the band itself may have been unavoidable, the effects it had on their lives were entirely their fault, and they knew it. Not that either were ever willing to admit it to the other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *prepares self for 'omg ur so incesitive wtf' hate for writing a fic based on the /rumors/ surrounding the breakup*
> 
> So this is an idea inspired by the recent 'Gerard and Frank aren't friends anymore' hype that has been going around. Personally i don't think we know enough to build any solid ground for the theories, so i don't really have an opinion on the matter. Sorry if you still feel its a little too early for 'break up' fics, and if you do i guess you don't have to read this i mean it's up to you.   
> This story is completely fictional. None of it is real. Some of the dates and facts match up to specific events, while other facts don't match up. Not that it matters because like i said: fictional. I obviously don't own the band mcr or any of the members i mean c'mon they're people how could you own them that's been like illegal for ages now. 
> 
> But yeah! Other than that i apologise before hand for any mistakes but hey *puts hands up* i tried okay don't hate on me

### 9TH APRIL 2013

Frank stared at the glowing display of his mobile, fingers hovering above the buttons which could type in the simple words. The tiny twitter bar stared back at him, teasing him because of his nervousness. It was only two small simple words. Two words that he'd said every year to this person for almost half of his life, and yet it was so much more than that now. How would he react? Would be hate Frank even more for it? Would he even see it? Perhaps he would be too busy with his own birthday plans to pay any attention to his old best friend. The fans would see it though. Hell, they were fucking waiting on the edge of their seats for it; he'd seen the tweets. They would probably get him to see, even if he didn't see it directly from Frank. 

Frank gulped. Jesus the pressure from this was too much. He'd tried to write this goddamn thing almost five times already and the furthest he'd got was typing the words in only to delete them and replace them with another tweet about the kerrang magazines. He was just so fucking angry at Gerard still, but this was beginning to get ridiculous. But then Gerard was probably still angry at him, which made Frank incredibly nervous about being the one to take the next step forward. 

Frank wanted to send something to Gerard. He wanted to fix what had happened. He may have been the one who was pissed over the breakup, but now not only had he lost his band, the thing he lived for, but he'd also lost his best friend; The person he'd been through thick and thin with. And it fucking sucked.

His phone buzzed. Frank startled but gratefully exited the twitter app to see a text had come through from Jamia saying that they needed some more milk. He nodded to himself. Yes, he could do this. This was easy, simple and most of all it wasn't going to break his fucking heart into pieces.

### 10TH APRIL 2015

Frank watched from where he stood as his three children bolted from the car and into their house, almost knocking Jamia over as she opened the front door to greet them. He couldn't help but chuckle the tiniest bit as Miles stumbled a little in a vain attempt to keep up with his older sisters; he managed to keep standing though. Of course he always did; he took after his dad. 

He took a deep breath and closed the car door before walking to meet Jamia in the middle of the path. Jamia waved and smiled very slightly as Frank walked, swinging the keys through his fingers and whistling happily.

The sun was shining and there was a very slight breeze which cooled the unusually warm air drifting past while swaying the leaves of the trees. Frank looked around at the flowers Jamia cared for in the front garden, thinking of how they always looked so beautiful and colourful. He wished he'd brought his camera. There was nothing like this near his city apartment where he lived now.

"Were they good?" Jamia asked as she embraced Frank in a warm hug.  
"They were excellent as usual," Frank smiled as he leant back out of the hug. 

Jamia had dyed her hair blonde since the last time Frank had seen her almost two weeks ago, the day before she left for the honeymoon. Accidentally mentally transporting himself back two years, he found his hand reaching up to stroke a strand through his fingers, relishing the nostalgic feeling. It wasn't until he heard a voice sounding from the front door that he realised what he was doing, and he dropped the soft strand immediately. He looked at Jamia to see how she reacted, but she merely had sympathy for him on her face, just like most people did these days it seemed.

"Frank, my old friend!" A voice boomed from behind Jamia, making Frank wince at the term 'old friend'. They weren't 'old friends'. Fucking hell, they only met each other a year ago when Jamia introduced them. John walked up the path and snaked his arm around Jamia’s shoulder once he reached where the pair stood. "It's good to see you! Thanks for taking such great care of the kids, by the way! They seem like they've had a great time!"  
"Well they are my kids," Frank said, accidentally sounding a lot more spiteful than he wanted to, even if it was nothing compared to the thoughts he was thinking in his head. Jamia gave him one of her 'looks' that told him to calm the fuck down, although he simply ignored it. 

"Yes, well, in any case, thanks," John muttered awkwardly. To be fair to him, he had always tried to get along with Frank. The only problem was that Frank hated his guts, because well, he was fucking his ex-wife. "Would you like to come in for coffee?" John perked up again, "We could tell you all about the holiday! Really, it was amazing!"

Just as Frank was beginning to say "No thanks, I have somewhere to be" Jamia started saying "Oh no, I'm sure Frank already has plans". They shared an awkward moment of eye contact then, before Jamia continued, "See. He has somewhere to be! We wouldn't want to put him off with our boring lives now, would we!?"  
John seemed to realise his mistake then and a slight blush of embarrassment creeped across his face. "Oh, um, no of course not."

Their awkward conversation was suddenly disrupted then by a loud cry of "Mom! Cherry stole my teddy bear!" Jamia sighed and was about to go and save the situation, but John put his hand out to stop her. "I'll go deal with it, it's fine," he reassured her before turning and walking back toward the house while calling behind him, "Bye Frank." Frank nodded back.

Jamia and Frank were then left with empty air hanging between them as they both tried to think of something to say. "So," Jamia began at the same time as Frank began to say "I should probably get going". 

"Oh," Jamia said simultaneously surprised and relieved, "oh, okay of course! Things to do, records to produce, I suppose!"  
"Something like that," Frank forced out a small laugh. "Anyway, I guess I'll see you in a week then?"  
"Yeah sure," Jamia started but then scrambled to burst out, "Actually no! Me and John were planning on taking the kids to see their other grandparents in Canada for a couple of weeks, if that's okay? I mean, I know you're supposed to have them at least at weekends, but it's quite a distance to go only midweek. And you've just had them for two weeks? Would that... Would that be okay?"

Frank forced a smile and tried not to show how much this news crushed him in order to help dissipate the guilty look on Jamia’s face. His weekends with his kids were what he spent the entire week looking forward to, and now what did he have. "Yeah sure, that's fine," he said anyway. "I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Bye Jamia, and again congratulations on the wedding." 

He waved then as he turned. He would have gone in to say bye to his kids, but he'd really rather not face John again. "Thanks," Jamia called slightly timidly behind him, "bye Frank!"

Frank climbed back into his car and ignited the engine. He smiled at Jamia who was still stood on the front path again before he drove away in the now silent car. He decided to put on a little music to fill the spaces that had previously been filled with the laughter and voices of his three beautiful children. Even that seemed empty of the life it used to hold though in comparison to their pure enthusiasm for even the smallest things. 

He took the first left at the end of the street and just kept driving after that, not paying attention to any of the road signs or where he might possibly be headed. After all, he had nowhere to be anyway.

*****

After driving around for hours Frank found himself in a large bookshop near his apartment. He was browsing through the racks of books to try and find something when he stumbled upon a display he hadn't noticed yet.

"Gerard Way presents the third instalment to his award winning series The Umbrella Academy:  
Hotel Oblivion!" 

Frank reached out to one of the few copies remaining on the stand and flicked through a few of the pages. Gerard had put so much time and effort into this, and it showed in the incredible drawings and storyline. Since he'd had much more time, he'd even illustrated some of the drawings himself in this issue. As Frank flipped through he could still even recognise some of the images that held Gerard's unique style.

"Hey dude, you gonna buy that or what?" Frank glanced between the comic and the acne ridden teen standing behind the counter.  
"Uh, yeah sure," Frank decided, walking the small distance between where he stood and the counter. The kid gave him a few weird looks while scanning the item, because to be fair he was a 34 year old man buying a freaking comic book, but Frank just gave him one of his signature 'I don't give a fuck what you think' smirks as he paid and left the small shop. 

Once he was home he ordered take out. He sat on his black leather sofa and began to read Gerard's comic properly while waiting for the food to arrive. The comic had been out for a good few months now, which Frank knew because he'd seen a few advertisements when doing Christmas shopping, but until now he'd never bothered to really take all that much notice of it. He wished he had now though. It was brilliant, even by Gerard's standards. He had improved so much, even when he was already talented. The drawings were excellent and the story line was incredible; drenched with the perfect darkness that seemed to naturally flow through Gerard's ideas. Not to mention the wit littered throughout which even made Frank chuckle out loud every now and then. Gerard's unique sense of humour leaked through the words the characters themselves were saying, and had he not been too engrossed in the story Frank may have even felt slightly nostalgic for the times when the man himself was talking to him in such ways.

He ended up continuing to read as he ate, although he was careful not to get food on the pages. He stopped only to quickly shower before climbing into his large double bed and finishing the whole thing. When he reached the final page, he turned the thin page again to find the 'About the Author' page, which contained a small picture of Gerard hidden in the corner.

Frank couldn't help but be slightly shocked at how different he looked, yet somehow he still seemed exactly the same. His floppy mousy brown hair still hung slightly in his eyes, only now displaying a few flecks of grey here and there. His eyes were still the same sparkling hazel Frank remembered, only now there were more wrinkles creasing at the edges. One thing that hadn't changed at all though was his slightly crooked smile, which was still just as awkward but genuine as it always had been.

Now that his mind was no longer hooked onto anything else, the feelings of nostalgia and loneliness creeped in. It had been so long since he'd even said a word to Gerard. He missed him. He missed their friendship and the comfort they always used to bring to each other. But now he was nothing more than a picture in a book, and as much as Frank wished he could change that he knew it would never happen.


	2. Chapter 2

### 11TH APRIL 2013

"That, my friend, was fucking incredible!" Dewees yelled above the screaming of the crowd behind them as he slinked his arm over Franks shoulders.  
"Hell yeah it was!" Frank shouted back, unable to wipe the grin off his face as he pulled his coat off to help cool down a little.

They made their way to the dressing room which Lindsey had managed to convince the venue to let them have. If it wasn't for her then they'd probably have been stuck with their car like most support bands usually did. Frank picked up the towel once inside and used it to wipe the sweat off his face before running the material through his also soaking hair. Dewees threw him a water bottle and he gladly drank the liquid desperately as though he hadn't had anything to drink for days. His throat was ridiculously sore from screaming, but he wasn’t complaining. 

Just as he was about to collapse onto the small tattered sofa, his phone buzzed where it was resting on the scratched wooden coffee table. He reached for it to find Jamia’s face lighting up on the screen. The usual dopey grin he couldn't fight grew on his face as he pressed answer and put the phone up to his ear while walking out into the corridor for some privacy. 

"Hey babe," he greeted first as he leant on the wall just by the door.  
"Heya! I was just quickly calling to see how it went!?" Jamia asked eagerly on the other end of the phone.  
"It was fucking amazing," Frank sighed, exhausted but riding sky high at the same time. He then launched into an entire description of the entire show, going into every detail of every emotion. He lost himself in his words as he began to pace the corridor, relishing the sensations as he relived the entire thing over again. It was so new and different; like he'd been born all over again. For the first time in weeks everything was feeling at least okay again.

But then he froze mid step and his words trailed off into nothing. He stared straight ahead towards the other end of the corridor. He didn't know what to do or say then. He didn't know whether to run the fuck away or walk towards the person who was looming in the dark passageway which lead into the venue from the parking lot, so instead he just stood in the same spot while Jamia tried to ask him what was going on through the tiny speaker on his phone.

Gerard was caught just as off guard as Frank, despite the fact that he knew he should have expected Frank to be here, and was now mirroring Franks idiocy. His hands were clenched in his pockets, while his lips froze very slightly parted as a million words tried to push through them only to be blocked by a certain flaw of Gerard's called pride. 

Frank finally regained himself enough to nod at Gerard, hoping for any reaction. He figured they could work their way back up to where they were before, or at least to something vaguely resembling friendship.

Gerard considered nodding back, even going so far as trying to think of something to say. However, then he thought better of everything, remembering again the whole reason they were in this predicament in the first place. His jaw clenched as he halted the words about to escape his lips and his mouth twisted down into a small frown. 

Within seconds Frank watched Gerard's face transform, and then before he knew it Gerard span and walked back the way he originally came from. Why would he just ignore Frank like that? And what was that look of such strong hatred before he escaped back the way he came? Surely within the weeks they’d been apart he would have calmed down a little. He wasn’t supposed to be the stubborn one of the two goddammit. 

Frank was left dumbfounded. Jamia was still trying to get through to him on the other end of the line, but he interrupted her worries as he gulped and choked out "Jamia, I've got to go okay."  
"Oh! Oh..." Jamia murmured on the other end, worried by Franks tone which had dramatically changed from its excited buzz to a broken whisper, "is everything okay?"  
"Yeah, yeah," Frank tried to comfort not that it was doing much good, "everything's fine. I just have to be somewhere now. Uh, sorry babe."  
"Yeah okay," Jamia said not sounding convinced, "I'll see you soon, though, right? I love you."  
"I love you too," Frank whispered before hanging up.

He backed out of the corridor in the opposite direction, not bothering to go back into the dressing room. After all James would just be there to ask him what was up and then he would just give Frank the same speech he'd given every time before now, when everything had got to Frank a bit too much. He found himself rushing into the bathroom, locking the door firmly behind him and then collapsing against it until he slid down to the floor. 

He was overreacting again and he knew it. But he couldn't help the way his chest was clenching up so tight he could barely breath, or the way his hands were shaking violently. He was so confused. Did Gerard really hate him that much? Had he really fucked up that bad? When he'd first seen Gerard there, with a matching expression of anxiousness he thought that maybe Gerard had been regretting everything just as much as he had. But no, clearly not. 

He twisted around so that he was sitting on his ass, with his back against the wooden door. The toilet reeked, but the foul smell helped distract him enough to calm down his panicked breathing. Frank was supposed to be angry at Gerard, not the other way around. And what the fuck was he even doing here anyway. He was supposed to still be at home. Now, he had managed to let Gerard’s surprise appearance ruin what was supposed to be a great night. Frank decided then that his entire reaction to everything was utterly ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. He wasn’t the only one to blame here. After all, it was Gerard who started the whole fucking thing off. 

He promised himself then that the next time he saw Gerard he would suck it up, be a man, and actually talk to him. They would talk things out and get back to how they were. Simple. Everything would be okay.

This thought gave Frank the courage to gather himself and leave the toilet again. Dewee’s hadn’t suspected anything, but was instead drinking backstage with a few of the spare stagehands while watching MSI on stage. Frank grabbed a beer of his own, figuring he'd be sober enough to drive by morning, and joined the group, all thoughts of Gerard calmed in his mind. He would be the bigger man. Soon enough they would talk things out and everything would be okay. He just had to wait until the next time he saw Gerard, that was all. Of course Frank hadn’t considered the possibility that he wouldn’t see Gerard again for a very long time.

### 12TH APRIL 2015

Frank's music was blaring loudly into his ears as he ran at a steady pace on the treadmill. He relished the burning in his lungs and thighs as he moved one foot in front if the other. The action was simple and easy, not accompanied by complications; perfect for Frank. After he'd completed his 12 miles, he showered and dressed. He hummed as he fixed himself a fresh bowl of cereal before sitting down at his marble breakfast table to eat while reading the paper. 

After reading the paper he took his dogs for a walk. He settled in the park, leaving them to roam as he read his book under the shade of a tree. By the time he was walking his dogs back, it was a reasonable time to get lunch. He bought himself a baguette from the small deli which he loved so much and went to so often they already had his order ready for him.

Once home and fed again he dabbled with his guitar a little, even writing down a few possible lyrics in his prized leather bound notebook, not that anybody would see them. It was dark when he finally rested his precious instrument back on its stand, so he began to cook himself a vegetable stir fry for dinner. 

His dogs surrounded him on the sofa as he watched TV for a few hours in the evening. He slowly fell asleep behind the glow of the box, until his precious sweet pea woke him by licking his face, waiting to be let out onto the balcony. 

He smoked and watched the city light up the night as his dogs roamed around his small balcony for a while. He stood at the edge of the railing and looked down, thinking of how high up he was and wondering just what _would_ happen if he were to fall or even jump. But then his thoughts were distracted by his dogs scratching at the glass door again, now wanting to be let back in. Frank stubbed his cigarette out and opened the door to let them in.

He turned off the TV and decided it was time to turn in even if it wasn't especially late. He read as he lay surrounded by pillows in his cold bed, but found himself a lot more lost in the words than he had been in the television so he ended up staying up until late again until he finished the whole thing. No matter; he had nothing to do tomorrow anyway other than repeat what had happened today.

That was all his life seemed to be these days. Wash, rinse and repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whispers i know gerard wasn't at deathspells 'kay just go with it  
> also thanks for the comments and kudos on the last chapter you're all beautiful and amazing and i love you so much they're always nice to get *hint hint*  
> anyway yeah thanks everyone for giving this fic a chance :)

**Author's Note:**

> (i know i suck at writing but idec) So, i have a little more written but i just wanted to know if people would be interested in reading and if i should keep on writing. I would like to, but some extra reinforcement that this whole idea isn't completely stupid would be nice. Either way, thankyou for reading and giving it a chance and i guess you managed to get to the bottom of the page so cookies for you well done :) xx


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